While Apple hasn’t officially confirmed the existence of a research and development project for an automobile, I’ve heard a lot of rumors and rumblings out of Cupertino. To be dubbed the “Apple Car”, it in fact has more in common with the iPhone than a traditional car.
First, Apple Car’s body will be fully made of Gorilla glass and will withstand 80% of collisions at 5.9 mph or less. The increased weight and fragility over traditional steel cars is completely ignored to prioritize aesthetics. Sure, the body looks great and will resist finger prints, but are you be brave enough to drive without additional protection or a cover?
In an effort to reduce the number of physical buttons on board, the gas and brake pedals will be replaced with capacitive sensors. This will allow infinitely variable throttle and braking, as long as you are barefoot. All other buttons and toggles will be controlled by shouting commands at Siri. Charging the Car battery at existing public charging stations will require an additional adapter to interface between the plug and the Car. This included $9 adapter allows Car to be backwards compatible while also putting pressure on charging stations to adopt proprietary technology.
Innovation isn’t always easy to swallow!
All this technology was developed to provide the purest driving experience ever created. The interface simplifies driving so much that even a child can hop in Car and intuitively take off down the road.
And for the first time ever, Siri can pilot you to a destination using Apple Maps’ default, convoluted routing. We’re keeping fingers crossed that support for Google Maps will be available on release day. Should you prefer hands-on manual steering then simply swipe left and right on the steering wheel. No moving parts = nothing to break!
As for the range, Car will come off the lot capable of travelling 400 miles on a single charge. Initial testing of the battery has shown that range will decrease with regular use within the first year. Apple is also struggling with battery life after upgrades to Car’s firmware. Each major software release is said to greatly impact performance and battery life on all prior year models.
Disclaimer: All this intel was obtained when an engineer from Apple left his prototype Car at a bar after a night of drinking. He chose to take an Uber home rather than trust Siri auto-pilot.